But, until then, I wanted to post about something that really gets me excited. Food.
Now, I know that everyone is pretty passionate about food. It's our driving force, the thing that keeps humanity going. Without it, we would die. I've had an ongoing battle with food for the better part of my life. I had grown up in the generation where my parents would constantly tell me that I needed to finish what was on my plate. "There are starving children in Africa!" they would say. So, I always finished what was in front of me. As I got older, I continued to eat everything in front of me. I don't think that I ever really learned what "full" meant; I would just eat until the food was gone. I started to mirror my parents, always going up for seconds even though I was already full. No one stopped me. If I liked a food, I ate it until I was hapy, not full. By the time I was in fifth grade, I was getting a bit of a pudgy tummy. That was the first time that I ever got called "fat" by one of my classmates.
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| This is me before my low carb diet began... |
When I reached the end of my ninth grade year, I decided that I was done being chubby. I went on my first diet, inspired by my Papa. He was diabetic, so he was on a low carb diet, and he had already lost some weight eating this way. I went low carb, and lost 30 pounds in only a few months. I would eat a plate of microwavable bacon for breakfast every morning, two hot dogs with no buns, dipped in mustard, for lunch, and the inside of a sandwich for dinner. Everyone told me that I looked great. I loved getting to eat all of that junk and still lose weight, but I knew that something had to give eventually. I was on the fast track to a heart attack at the rate that I was going, and I felt so disgusting all the time. Plus, it got harder and harder to stick to a diet where I couldn't really eat anything. I eventually stopped losing weight, then I started to cheat and eat bread and the other carbs that my body was constantly craving. After two years of my low carb diet, I decided to call it quits.
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| And this is Megan and me right after I lost the 30 pounds by going low carb. |
After that, I bounced all around. I tried low calorie, low fat, weight watchers, and even a few of those really strict diet plans where they tell you exactly what you need to eat and when to eat it. I always felt deprived of something. I wanted to eat healthy, but it was just too hard to define what "healthy eating" really was. I didn't lose weight just from eating healthy. All that I wanted was to lose weight, to wear a bikini. Eventually, I realized that just healthy eating wasn't going to do that for me.
After years of struggling with food, I feel like I have finally reached a point where I'm content. About three months ago, I went vegan. Now, going vegan wasn't something that I had ever even considered before. I thought vegans were crazy. There was no way that I could go without milk! I love milk. Plus, eggs are in everything. It just seemed like an impossibility. Netflix was actually the tipping point for me. I got in this kick where I started watching documentaries on there like crazy, and I think that as of right now, I've watched just about every single one relating to food that they have to offer. They changed my mind, and for both health and political reasons, I went vegan.
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| One of my regular vegan meals: a sandwich with spinach, cauliflower, avocado, and veganaise! |
Being vegan is actually really easy. I cook at home a lot, and I make some sort of veggie stir fry for most dinners. If I'm feeling like putting in a little more effort, I will even look up a new vegan recipe to try. I finally feel like I am at a point where I feel healthier.
I started dieting because people called me fat. I've been on a string of diets for about six years now, and it is still hard. It is hard to see women in the media, knowing that I don't look like them and I probably never will. It is hard when I see macaroni and cheese or ranch dressing, and I just want to stuff myself with it until I'm at the point where I never want to eat again. It is hard when I have people on my case about being vegan, stating how unhealthy it is not eating any meat (though no one said anything about my unhealthy eating when they saw me eating nothing but meat and cheese for two years on my low carb diet). But I'm at a point now where it isn't about weight loss for me anymore. Now, it is about being healthy. I feel so much better about what I'm putting into my body every day.
No, I haven't lost any weight on this "diet". The next step for me is starting to exercise, which has been a long time coming. I know that the weight will begin to go when I become more active. But, I know that this way of eating is going to be different for me. Being vegan isn't a diet for me, it is a change in the way that I eat. I am always going to crave the crap that got me to the weight that I am today, but I am not going to indulge myself anymore. This is the only body that I have, and I'm going to do my best to keep it as healthy as possible.
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| Gary and I ran a 5K last week, so I suppose that is a start :) |
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